By: Tamara Ince
Seasons Greetings! Its that time of year when we reflect on all that we have accomplished and/or what must be tweaked to move closer to our desired goals. Its' a time of fellowship with old friends and grand celebrations with family. But for some, it also means returning to our home and revisiting a past that we wish to be forgotten. Whether it was past abuse, an earlier life inflicted with poverty, sibling rivalry, the scene of a traumatic event, or criticism from family- its trauma revisited. Here are a few tips on how to move though the season while maintaining your sanity.
What should you contemplate:
Consider and reconcider the duration of time you plan to engage others. Consider how long you believe you can maintain your capacity to deal with the associated stress related to hosting those who have caused you harm in the past. Ask- Is the connection worth your discomfort? Have you forgiven the individual(s) in question. If yes, then you can better embrace the situation with knowledge that it is your choice to endure, and maintain the relationship.
Consider whether there are paths to mitigate the impact of the stress, or stressors? If it is your relatives who are the perpetrators of the discomfort, ask whether it is possible to make other arrangements- such as a shorter stay, breaking up your stay by engaging other activities while on holiday, or simply reserving a hotel which would provide you the ability to control how much time others have access to your person.